Relationships

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Dating dishonesty: why our social scripts are doing us damage

Dating dishonesty: why our social scripts are doing us damage

Unless we make room for open and honest communication early on, we can only end up with a host of dissatisfied people, constantly seeking one thing, but finding another.

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Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Three

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Three

Meet Melissa K.: Feminist and Submissive who has had to resolve the conflict between her rape fantasies and her strongly feminist ideals.

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Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Two

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Two

Clarissa-Jan Lim shares the story of a self-proclaimed feminist BDSM couple Ian Locklear and Nicole Lavoie and the ways they reconcile their feminist views with their D/s lifestyle…

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Perky Commandments

Perky Commandments

Commandments for love, lust and life Thou shalt not stalk Thou shalt live thine own life Thou shalt let thy partner live his/her own life Thou shalt keep thine crazy to thyself Thou shalt be responsible for thine own happiness Thou shalt not dump all thy mental baggage onto thy Significant […]

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The Magic Number

The Magic Number

‘Is a girl who’s slept with 100 guys a bad person?’ This is an actual question from the dating site, OkCupid. Not, ‘Would you feel differently about a person, and in what way?’, but ‘Is she a good or bad person’? At the beginning of my year of living tartily, I could count my lovers on a […]

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What if my girlfriend fakes her orgasms?

What if my girlfriend fakes her orgasms?

Dear Rhonda, After a party last weekend my girlfriend and I ended up playing around for a bit. Although we started having sex, we gave up on that after a while because I struggle to keep a good erection after a big night of drinking. However, we did play around […]

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Unravelling jealousy

Unravelling jealousy

Holding on by letting go ‘Relationships of all kinds are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto […]

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Photo credit: Louis Konstantinou, flickr

The friendship destroyer

A lesson on why some friendships are best left alone At some point you have probably encountered a friendship-destroyer. I’m sure you know her, or one just like her. She latches on to you, you introduce her to your friends, she latches on to your friends. She causes fights and provokes […]

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A square peg in a round hole

A square peg in a round hole

‘If I was meant to come in a box with a label slapped across me, I would have been produced by Mattel.’ Recently I met someone I actually connect with, who I like to spend time with, to talk to, who makes me laugh until my belly aches and my […]

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Whose threesome is it anyway?

Whose threesome is it anyway?

Can three in a bed ever be less than a crowd? Threesomes are a fairly common fantasy — two men, one woman; two women, one man — getting it on in various steamy configurations. Fantasy is not reality, however, and what seems hot in your imagination can stir very different […]

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