Rhonda Perky’s Bits

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Misguided protectiveness, slut-shaming or internalised paternalism?

Misguided protectiveness, slut-shaming or internalised paternalism?

Rhonda Perky examines how everyday paternalism shifts accountability, and asks: ‘What makes us uncomfortable? Whose behaviour is really the problem? Where does the accountability lie?’

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What does a word weigh?

What does a word weigh?

Rhonda Perky reflects on the weight of words in how we conceptualise our experiences.

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Endometriosis: 20 years of invisible pain

Endometriosis: 20 years of invisible pain

Rhonda Perky reflects on living with endometriosis for the past 20 years

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Behind the smile

Behind the smile

The sun shines But it is cold and dark Are you okay? I do not want to be here I do not want you to see me To endure this I say, I will be okay And hope it is true I am more than this But the dark is part of me […]

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Abuse is a choice

Abuse is a choice

Rhonda Perky shares her reflections on ending up in an abusive relationship and how she eventually walked away.

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In the heat of the moment

In the heat of the moment

Negotiating safe sex should be straightforward. But when those involved fear rejection and judgement, when we associate asking for a condom with calling someone ‘dirty’, when we are socialised to defer to others, it gets complicated.

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Feel the fear

Feel the fear

From the blog: Rhonda Perky learns a tough lesson in feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

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The power in sex

The power in sex

Does sex necessarily involve power? Not just Domination and submission, but non-BDSM sex? Rhonda Perky explores questions of power and privilege inherent in sex.

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Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing

Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing

When it comes to how the brain is wired, objectifying images may be less comfortable and more confronting to watch, but they evoke a more direct physical response. At least, they do in me… But what if there is an emotional cost of continually engaging in this kind of ‘disturbing arousal’?

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The ‘Perfect’ Relationship

The ‘Perfect’ Relationship

I have to keep telling myself that while this relationship seems perfect, it’s an illusion.’ Like most people, when I first meet someone, I try to present my best. I hide my fears and insecurities, my frustrations, my limitations. I present the fun-loving sexy side of me: the person I want to be.

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