Sex

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A Unicorn’s Survival Guide

A Unicorn’s Survival Guide

How to survive as a single in the Swinger’s Scene A ‘Unicorn’ is so called because they are mythical creatures: the single female (or male) who appears to fulfil a couple’s erotic fantasy, and then disappears, never to be seen or heard from again. Couples seek out Unicorns for many reasons, most […]

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Whose threesome is it anyway?

Whose threesome is it anyway?

Can three in a bed ever be less than a crowd? Threesomes are a fairly common fantasy — two men, one woman; two women, one man — getting it on in various steamy configurations. Fantasy is not reality, however, and what seems hot in your imagination can stir very different […]

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If you don’t know, the answer is “no”

If you don’t know, the answer is “no”

Yesterday I was asked how a guy could be certain he’d gained consent to have sex; essentially, how not to rape. I was taken aback. “The answer is ‘no’ by default until you obtain a ‘yes’. Always ask permission.” “But what if a girl says yes, then changes her mind?” he […]

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Married Sex – A fairytale in three parts

Married Sex – A fairytale in three parts

***Warning – this post may ruin your best friend threesome fantasy*** Part One: Once Upon a Time Once upon a time, relationship experts encouraged long-term couples to ‘share everything’, from a strand of spaghetti to the grizzly details of the monthly cycle. This constant sharing, this living in each other’s pockets, […]

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‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’

‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’

Rhonda Perky discovers what it means to be a Modern ‘Slut’ ‘Men want women to be sluts and now they’re buying in,’ — Professor Gail Dines, quoted in the Brisbane Times. Until a few years ago, my sexual experience was about as vanilla as you can get (you might remember my earlier […]

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BDSM: A Beginner’s Guide

BDSM: A Beginner’s Guide

Starting out in BDSM You may find it daunting to enter the world of Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM). Power play, humiliation, restraints, pain and/or paraphernalia can leave you feeling vulnerable, even fearful, for your physical and psychological safety. For many, this is part of the thrill, but it does […]

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Condoms kill my erection

Condoms kill my erection

Dear Rhonda, Recently divorced, I find myself back in the dating world and having to use condoms for the first time in a long time. The problem is, every time we get started and the condom goes on, I lose my erection. Just pausing to put the condom on seems […]

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My hate-hate relationship with sex toys

My hate-hate relationship with sex toys

I have a confession. I don’t like sex toys. Vibrators, dildos, dolphins, bullets. They just don’t do it for me. I’ve tried to like them. I’ve paid a lot of money trying to like them. But I just can’t figure them out. The very first one I bought was when […]

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How do I tell my boyfriend I want an open relationship?

How do I tell my boyfriend I want an open relationship?

The following was asked in response to ‘Why I struggle to give unbiased relationship advice‘ Dear Rhonda, I enjoyed your posting, and found it because I’m also struggling with monogamy and talking to my partner about it. I’m worried that maybe I’m unable to commit to a long term relationship, […]

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A Beginner’s Guide to Dating a Transgendered Person

A Beginner’s Guide to Dating a Transgendered Person

So you’re looking to explore your sexuality. Looking for something a bit risqué, a bit taboo, a bit unnatural. ‘I know, I’ll go with a transgender,’ you say to yourself. Well think again. It’s not as straightforward as that. Despite what you may have seen in porn, or read on […]

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