Dear Rhonda,

I need a little bit of advice regarding how to introduce a kink to a partner.

My boyfriend is pretty kinky, and is into just about everything I’m fairly sure, but this somehow doesn’t make it any easier to approach things! Most of the time I am a little bit worried he will think I’m too far below his level of skill/experience, I guess, or that he will think I’m just being icky, especially with this particular fetish. It would probably help if I said what that kink was, right? Okay. I want to pee in his mouth (wow, that was hard to type!)

I have always liked watersports and I think he would be okay with this in general (he really likes my vagina so it wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to ask him to watch it pee), it’s just the next level I don’t know how to approach. I love the power I feel from making a man drink me, I love how connected it makes me to him; it’s my golden nectar, something no one is allowed but him, and it’s always just felt really ‘naughty’.

I get so wet whenever I go to the bathroom and I imagine him kneeling at my feet lapping me up. While I don’t need him to beg for it all the time (but that would be great!!) it would be something I would love to incorporate into our playtime. What can I tell him that might lead to this happening for me?


–Always Wet

Dear Always Wet,

Asking for something new in the bedroom can be awkward and uncomfortable. We often fear being judged and at a very basic level, rejected. What if my partner sees me differently afterwards? Some people try mentioning what they want in jest to test their partner’s response, but I don’t advocate that approach as it puts the burden of risk on your partner to be brave enough to say, ‘Actually, I think that sounds pretty hot!’ The more likely scenario is that he or she will say, ‘Yeah, that sounds pretty funny, huh?’ taking what they assume is your lead. It’s the curse of wanting acceptance, and so responding in way we hope is acceptable.

I suggest being direct. Pick your moment and tell your partner this particular area of kink turns you on and then ask how he feels about it. If he doesn’t seem keen, you can still pull back. If he does, you can elaborate on the areas you’d like to try. If you can, describe your fantasy scenario as part of your sexual repertoire, selling it to him in an erotic way, and gauge his response. If he sees how much it turns you on, he may respond to that, even if it’s not something he’s that into.

In your favour, your partner is already kinky, and has probably felt some of what you’re experiencing now when broaching his desires. What techniques has he used with you and how have they made you feel? Can you borrow from what worked on you?

Some of my followers on twitter have also suggested watching pornography with your partner to illustrate what you would like to try. Depending on how comfortable you are using porn together, this could work as a demonstration and as a source of erotic stimulation.

Watersports, especially drinking someone else’s urine, is not for everyone. If he’s not ready to act out your fantasy in full, maybe ask if he’s willing to incorporate some of it in role play or dirty talk, which can sometimes be enough to scratch an itch, or maybe it’s something he can do for you on a special occasion.

Role play is also lower risk, physically. Treat urine like other bodily fluids when it comes to this sort of play. It’s safest to use barrier protection, avoid contact in times when you have broken skin, ulcers or other infections that might weaken the immune system and get screened for sexually transmitted infections, blood borne viruses and other bacteria that can live in the urinary tract.

Best of luck!


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