Over the last few years, the world has seen a trend away from traditional ceremony vehicles such as the Limousine or Rolls Royce and towards a far more hideous mode of transportation: the Hummer, particularly the stretch Hummer.

Now, I’m not one to judge — constantly — however not long after couples began sullying their most sacred of days with the most unholy of cars, marriage counsellors also started to record an increasing number of problems in and out of the bedroom.

The numbers don’t lie.

Alcohol abuse was once listed in the top reasons for divorce, being reported in 30% of cases as a major contributor to the end of the marriage. Researchers have now shown that Hummers are one of the first real signs of marriage breakdown. Startling new results show that couples who use a Hummer as part of their wedding ceremonies will have an 87% chance of divorce within the first 6 months of marriage.

Data obtained for this post was from dubious sources and any resemblance to reality is purely accidental

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