Dear Rhonda,
I recently found out that the guy I’m seeing has a girlfriend. I have asked him to tell her, but he says he won’t. If I was her I would want to know. Should I tell her?
–Guilty Conscience

Dear Guilty Conscience,

These situations are always complicated. It can be hard to separate what feels ‘right’ for you and what you think might feel ‘right’ for her, not least because you are emotionally involved with him, but also because you feel guilty.

All you can do is act for you and your relationship with this guy. Ultimately what happens between him and his girlfriend is between them.

You would be better off cutting your losses and stepping away from them both. He has shown you and her little respect, and she is unlikely to thank you if you tell her (whatever your motivation).

Ask yourself: do I want to date a guy who is a liar and a cheat? If the answer is no (and I hope that it is) you should walk away.

You can’t change what has already happened, but you can decide not to go there again.

Good luck,


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