Perks Magazine
An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life
The Perky Jouney
The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.
In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.
My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.
A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.
I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.
With love, Rhonda xx
Latest posts
How to Have Free Fetish Phone Calls Online
Fetish phone calls are a safe, anonymous way for individuals to explore their fantasies and desires. But how do you have a successful fetish phone call?
Erotic Pop Art
From D-Rex vs Triceracocks to Mr. Bearbottom, Christopher Adam Gray shares his whimsical exploration of sex positive concepts and figurative art with Perks Magazine.
Not my circus, not my monkeys
Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.
I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?
Rhonda answers the question: ‘I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?’
My sex life
Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.
On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory
Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.
Why I chose not to have children
Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.
The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup
Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.
Under the covers…
Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews
Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?
Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?
Hummers: first sign of marriage breakdown
Researchers have now shown that Hummers are one of the first real signs of marriage breakdown. Couples who use a Hummer as part of their wedding ceremonies will have an 87% chance of divorce within the first 6 months of marriage.
Why is it only legitimate when we take away the sex?
Sex can be functional and legitimate or it can be sexy and pleasurable, but never both…
When ‘no’ falls on deaf ears — sex offenders and the criminal justice system
Sexual violence and acts of sexual coercion are commonplace, yet many of these crimes go unreported, never make it to court, or get thrown out once they do. We take a closer look at why.
Misguided protectiveness, slut-shaming or internalised paternalism?
Rhonda Perky examines how everyday paternalism shifts accountability, and asks: ‘What makes us uncomfortable? Whose behaviour is really the problem? Where does the accountability lie?’
Tennille Melcher: Art + Sensuality = Empowerment
Tennessee-based Boudoir/Intimate photographer and blogger Tennille Melcher shares her passion for empowering others.
Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Three
Meet Melissa K.: Feminist and Submissive who has had to resolve the conflict between her rape fantasies and her strongly feminist ideals.
Mass shootings: disaffected young men or entitled objectification?
A response to Jim Dowd’s ‘The Shootings Are Not Senseless’.
Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses
In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.
Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough
Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.
What does a word weigh?
‘Rape’? Rhonda Perky reflects on the weight of words in how we conceptualise our experiences.
A square peg in a round hole
Rhonda struggles to define what ‘relationship’ might mean while still exploring her sexuality.
Whose threesome is it anyway?
In the heat of the moment, whose threesome is it, anyway? Rhonda explores the gap between fantasy and reality.
The power in sex
Does sex necessarily involve power? Not just Domination and submission, but non-BDSM sex? Rhonda Perky explores questions of power and privilege inherent in sex.
My sex life
Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.
Not my circus, not my monkeys
Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.
Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator
In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.
Dating: if I had my time over
Rhonda Perky reflects on her insecurity, fear, dating stereotypes, and how she wishes she had done dating differently.
In the heat of the moment
Negotiating safe sex should be straightforward. But when those involved fear rejection and judgement, when we associate asking for a condom with calling someone ‘dirty’, when we are socialised to defer to others, it gets complicated.
Unravelling jealousy
Rhonda reveals her struggle with jealousy and what it means to hold on by letting go.
Abuse is a choice
Rhonda Perky shares her reflections on ending up in an abusive relationship and how she eventually walked away, and the questions this raises for our society.
Why cheaters lie to both partners
Has someone in a relationship tried to hit on you for sexy chats, sexting or more? In the process, have they spun you a story about how unhappy they are in their current relationship? Ever wondered why?
Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?
Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?
Casual sex: doing it without doing dinner
Rhonda offers her advice on negotiating casual sex.
How to Have Free Fetish Phone Calls Online
Fetish phone calls are a safe, anonymous way for individuals to explore their fantasies and desires. But how do you have a successful fetish phone call?
My boyfriend likes ‘shemales’. Is this a recipe for disaster?
‘Will I ever be enough to satisfy him?’
Can a submissive help her partner become Dominant?
Rhonda helps a submissive open up the D/s conversation with her potentially Dominant partner.
Casual sex: doing it without doing dinner
Rhonda offers her advice on negotiating casual sex.
I’m in love with someone in an open relationship, what should I do?
Is it worth pursuing love when your lover is in an open relationship with someone else?
I am a virgin, how can I satisfy my experienced man?
Rhonda gets a little ranty answering your question: How do you satisfy your man’s needs if he is ‘experienced’ and you are a virgin?
More than friends: is it worth the risk?
Rhonda helps a Clueless Canadian decide whether it is worth risking friendship to pursue a short-term non-monogamous relationship.
What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?
Rhonda answers the question: What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?
Cuckold fantasies: My lover likes the idea of me with other men
‘My emotional brain says he doesn’t care enough to want me to himself. Are we doomed to remain fuck-buddies?’
How can you tell whether somebody in an open relationship has feelings for you?
‘He acts like my boyfriend, but already has a girlfriend.’ Rhonda helps a confused reader navigate an open relationship.
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