Perks Magazine

An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life

The Perky Jouney

The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.

In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.

My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.

A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.

I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.

With love, Rhonda xx

Latest posts

On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory

Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.

Why I chose not to have children

Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.

The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup

Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Rope Sensei: your one-stop rope shop

Want to explore the pleasures of playing with rope? Rope Sensei has got your back.

Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough

Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator

In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.

Projecting Rejection

The first in a series of posts where Rhonda explores self-image, projection, and the ego-defences we use to preserve our sense of self.

Strike Up A Chat

Rhonda chats to Natalie Swedosh about her Strike Up A Chat social interaction initiative that helps women and men reconnect in person.

Under the covers…

Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews

The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross

Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.

‘Bunnies Unbound’ — unravelling preconceptions about rope

Through Bunnies Unbound, Kat Johnston hopes to break through some of the preconceptions people have about rope-based bondage, the people who practice it, and kink more broadly.

Why I struggle to give unbiased relationship advice

Rhonda reflects on how her experiences have shaped her view of relationships.

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Three

Meet Melissa K.: Feminist and Submissive who has had to resolve the conflict between her rape fantasies and her strongly feminist ideals.

Sacred sexuality: sex-negativity in spiritual clothing?

When I think of sacred sexuality (or Tantra), it sets off my bullshit meter. I picture caftans and communes, or people publicly displaying a kind of seventies big-bush sexuality that feels particularly unsexy to me. Is this sex-negativity in spirituality’s clothing? Or is something else going on?

Starting Over: ‘One day my prince will come’

At 39, single mother Pacsac reflects on dating, her ‘Cinderella Syndrome’ and starting over.

Tantra: get ready to try this at home

‘Why do to your man what he can do to himself?’ This week I ventured into the erotic world of Tantric massage.

Passionfruit: A sex shop with a difference

Think if you’ve seen one sex shop you’ve seen them all? Look again. Michelle Temminghoff talks about what makes Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop in Melbourne, Australia, more than just an adult store.

‘…to the exclusion of all others’

What monogamy really asks of our long-term partners and ourselves.

69 ways to balance cats on your breasts

Carl Skase offers you the listicle to end all listicles: 69 ways to balance cats on your breasts. Or, a tribute to what the internet does best!

Feel the fear

From the blog: Rhonda Perky learns a tough lesson in feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Abuse is a choice

Rhonda Perky shares her reflections on ending up in an abusive relationship and how she eventually walked away, and the questions this raises for our society.

‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’

Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover what it means to be a Modern Slut.

I am more than my appearance

I can’t change the way we objectify and value physical appearance; I can only change the way I see myself. I am more than my appearance, more than my achievements, and I don’t have to be seen to have value.

The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup

Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.

On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory

Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.

The Magic Number

Is there such a thing as the ‘right’ number of partners?

Married Sex – A fairytale in three parts

Rhonda reflects on the rise and fall of desire in a long term relationship.

In the heat of the moment

Negotiating safe sex should be straightforward. But when those involved fear rejection and judgement, when we associate asking for a condom with calling someone ‘dirty’, when we are socialised to defer to others, it gets complicated.

Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough

Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.

Madison Missina — on sexual health and personal safety

In Part Three, porn star and escort Madison Missina talks sexual health and personal safety in the sex industry.

Communication in conflict

Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?

A Unicorn’s Survival Guide

Rhonda reflects on surviving as a unicorn in the Swinger’s Scene.

Perky Commandments

Rhonda’s commandments for love, lust and life.

In conversation with sex coach Liv Bryant

Ever wondered what it’s like being a sex coach? I chat to sex coach Liv Bryant of Tell Me Darling to find out.

Safe Sex is Sexy

Porn performer and escort Madison Missina talks to Perks about the Safe Sex is Sexy social awareness campaign.

Passionfruit: A sex shop with a difference

Think if you’ve seen one sex shop you’ve seen them all? Look again. Michelle Temminghoff talks about what makes Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop in Melbourne, Australia, more than just an adult store.

Sex toys: dos and don’ts

Thinking of buying a sex toy? Victoria from Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop talks sex toys, the sex toy industry, and how to find the right fit for you.

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Three

Meet Melissa K.: Feminist and Submissive who has had to resolve the conflict between her rape fantasies and her strongly feminist ideals.

What I learned from online dating

Online dating taught me less about love and lust and more about confronting my fears. I didn’t always have a good time, but I collected an array of new experiences, and ultimately skills that have helped me learn and grow socially and professionally.

Addicted to social media: in search of a meaningful connection

My life revolves around social media, I seek attention there all the time. I got on twitter to seek friends, a connection, but twitter relationships are temporary.

Once bitten, twice shy

Rhonda helps a 23-year-old virgin find a way to trust again.

Condoms kill my erection

Rhonda helps a recently divorced man learn to use condoms without losing his erection.

I’m in love with someone in an open relationship, what should I do?

Is it worth pursuing love when your lover is in an open relationship with someone else?

My fiancé struggles to find partners in our open relationship

‘I don’t want to cheat but I can’t control myself. What should I do?’

I’m into BDSM but my wife of 40 years is totally vanilla

Rhonda helps a kinky reader grapple with his vanilla relationship.

My boyfriend likes ‘shemales’ – what do I do?

Rhonda offers advice to a woman whose partner is into ‘shemale’ porn

I am a sadist but my wife won’t let me do what I want to others

Rhonda offers advice to a sadist whose vanilla wife won’t let him practice sadism outside the marriage.

Is watching S&M internet pornography harmful?

Rhonda Perky answers your question: Do you think watching S&M pornography is harmful?

More than friends: is it worth the risk?

Rhonda helps a Clueless Canadian decide whether it is worth risking friendship to pursue a short-term non-monogamous relationship.