Perks Magazine

An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life

The Perky Jouney

The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.

In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.

My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.

A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.

I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.

With love, Rhonda xx

Latest posts

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Rope Sensei: your one-stop rope shop

Want to explore the pleasures of playing with rope? Rope Sensei has got your back.

Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough

Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator

In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.

Projecting Rejection

The first in a series of posts where Rhonda explores self-image, projection, and the ego-defences we use to preserve our sense of self.

Strike Up A Chat

Rhonda chats to Natalie Swedosh about her Strike Up A Chat social interaction initiative that helps women and men reconnect in person.

My boyfriend has transgender friends – does he want to be with one again?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘My boyfriend has transgender friends on his profile. I was wondering if he wants to be with one again?’

Tennille Melcher: Art + Sensuality = Empowerment

Tennessee-based Boudoir/Intimate photographer and blogger Tennille Melcher shares her passion for empowering others.

I caught my boyfriend cheating

Rhonda helps a woman process the aftermath of a betrayal.

Under the covers…

Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews

Dating dishonesty: why our social scripts are doing us damage

Unless we make room for open and honest communication early on, we can only end up with a host of dissatisfied people, constantly seeking one thing, but finding another.

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Two

Clarissa-Jan Lim shares the story of a self-proclaimed feminist BDSM couple Ian Locklear and Nicole Lavoie and the ways they reconcile their feminist views with their D/s lifestyle…

One plus one equals three?

Lady Chatterley shares her non-monogamous memoir.

Baby Voodoo: When kink meets art meets fashion

Melbourne-based artist and designer Baby Voodoo shares her love of all things naughty and nice with Perks Magazine.

Tantra: get ready to try this at home

‘Why do to your man what he can do to himself?’ This week I ventured into the erotic world of Tantric massage.

Why I struggle to give unbiased relationship advice

Rhonda reflects on how her experiences have shaped her view of relationships.

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross

Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.

Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?

Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?

Strike Up A Chat

Rhonda chats to Natalie Swedosh about her Strike Up A Chat social interaction initiative that helps women and men reconnect in person.

I am more than my appearance

I can’t change the way we objectify and value physical appearance; I can only change the way I see myself. I am more than my appearance, more than my achievements, and I don’t have to be seen to have value.

Perky Commandments

Rhonda’s commandments for love, lust and life.

What does a word weigh?

‘Rape’? Rhonda Perky reflects on the weight of words in how we conceptualise our experiences.

My dirty little secret

Rhonda explores her journey coming out as bisexual.

Married Sex – A fairytale in three parts

Rhonda reflects on the rise and fall of desire in a long term relationship.

Misguided protectiveness, slut-shaming or internalised paternalism?

Rhonda Perky examines how everyday paternalism shifts accountability, and asks: ‘What makes us uncomfortable? Whose behaviour is really the problem? Where does the accountability lie?’

Inertia

Rhonda reflects on her struggles to follow her dreams, trapped by the safety and security of inertia.

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Unravelling jealousy

Rhonda reveals her struggle with jealousy and what it means to hold on by letting go.

Communication in conflict

Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?

Why I am a Masochist

‘How I became aware of my masochism.’ Erotic novelist David (Pinke Grapefruit) explores what being a masochist means to him.

My brush with HPV

One reader describes her brush with the Human Papillomavirus (HPV).

Dating dishonesty: why our social scripts are doing us damage

Unless we make room for open and honest communication early on, we can only end up with a host of dissatisfied people, constantly seeking one thing, but finding another.

Communication in conflict

Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Two

Clarissa-Jan Lim shares the story of a self-proclaimed feminist BDSM couple Ian Locklear and Nicole Lavoie and the ways they reconcile their feminist views with their D/s lifestyle…

Dating: if I had my time over

Rhonda Perky reflects on her insecurity, fear, dating stereotypes, and how she wishes she had done dating differently.

What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?

Rhonda answers the question: What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?

The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross

Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.

Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?

Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Turns out my guy has a girlfriend. He won’t tell her about me. Should I?

Rhonda Perky answers your question: The guy I’m seeing has a girlfriend and won’t tell her about me. Should I?

I caught my boyfriend cheating

Rhonda helps a woman process the aftermath of a betrayal.

Is watching S&M internet pornography harmful?

Rhonda Perky answers your question: Do you think watching S&M pornography is harmful?

My partner has been with someone else, now I want my turn

‘How do I tell him I want to be with someone else?’

I’m in love with a girl in an abusive relationship

Rhonda helps a White Knight rescue a damsel in an open-but-abusive relationship, and offers some tips on handling jealousy.

What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?

Rhonda answers the question: What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?

My fiancé struggles to find partners in our open relationship

‘I don’t want to cheat but I can’t control myself. What should I do?’

I’m into BDSM but my wife of 40 years is totally vanilla

Rhonda helps a kinky reader grapple with his vanilla relationship.

Is it okay to poke fun at an ex-friend’s social media?

Rhonda Perky answers your question: is it okay to be completely childish and stalk an ex-friend on social media so I can point and laugh and be bitchy?