Perks Magazine

An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life

The Perky Jouney

The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.

In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.

My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.

A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.

I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.

With love, Rhonda xx

Latest posts

Not my circus, not my monkeys

Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.

I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?’

My sex life

Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.

On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory

Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.

Why I chose not to have children

Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.

The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup

Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Rope Sensei: your one-stop rope shop

Want to explore the pleasures of playing with rope? Rope Sensei has got your back.

Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough

Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Under the covers…

Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews

‘…to the exclusion of all others’

What monogamy really asks of our long-term partners and ourselves.

The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross

Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.

Sacred sexuality: sex-negativity in spiritual clothing?

When I think of sacred sexuality (or Tantra), it sets off my bullshit meter. I picture caftans and communes, or people publicly displaying a kind of seventies big-bush sexuality that feels particularly unsexy to me. Is this sex-negativity in spirituality’s clothing? Or is something else going on?

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Misguided protectiveness, slut-shaming or internalised paternalism?

Rhonda Perky examines how everyday paternalism shifts accountability, and asks: ‘What makes us uncomfortable? Whose behaviour is really the problem? Where does the accountability lie?’

Tennille Melcher: Art + Sensuality = Empowerment

Tennessee-based Boudoir/Intimate photographer and blogger Tennille Melcher shares her passion for empowering others.

Sex toys: dos and don’ts

Thinking of buying a sex toy? Victoria from Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop talks sex toys, the sex toy industry, and how to find the right fit for you.

Passionfruit: A sex shop with a difference

Think if you’ve seen one sex shop you’ve seen them all? Look again. Michelle Temminghoff talks about what makes Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop in Melbourne, Australia, more than just an adult store.

Why I’m not buying ‘Instagram star’ Essena O’Neill’s rage quit from social media

Essena O’Neill may be weeping her carefully crafted ‘this is REAL’ and ‘I’m doing it for my 12-year-old-self’ story all over her website, but she is also asking you and me to send her money now that she has to make a living like the rest of us.

Hummers: first sign of marriage breakdown

Researchers have now shown that Hummers are one of the first real signs of marriage breakdown. Couples who use a Hummer as part of their wedding ceremonies will have an 87% chance of divorce within the first 6 months of marriage.

Whose threesome is it anyway?

In the heat of the moment, whose threesome is it, anyway? Rhonda explores the gap between fantasy and reality.

Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator

In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.

Abuse is a choice

Rhonda Perky shares her reflections on ending up in an abusive relationship and how she eventually walked away, and the questions this raises for our society.

Feel the fear

From the blog: Rhonda Perky learns a tough lesson in feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

A Unicorn’s Survival Guide

Rhonda reflects on surviving as a unicorn in the Swinger’s Scene.

Endometriosis: 20 years of invisible pain

Rhonda Perky reflects on living with endometriosis for the past 20 years.

The power in sex

Does sex necessarily involve power? Not just Domination and submission, but non-BDSM sex? Rhonda Perky explores questions of power and privilege inherent in sex.

Unravelling jealousy

Rhonda reveals her struggle with jealousy and what it means to hold on by letting go.

Not my circus, not my monkeys

Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Casual sex: doing it without doing dinner

Rhonda offers her advice on negotiating casual sex.

On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory

Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.

A Unicorn’s Survival Guide

Rhonda reflects on surviving as a unicorn in the Swinger’s Scene.

Madison Missina — on porn

In Part Two, Madison Missina talks about her experiences behind the scenes on a porn set.

Safe Sex is Sexy

Porn performer and escort Madison Missina talks to Perks about the Safe Sex is Sexy social awareness campaign.

AB/DL: Adult babies and diaper lovers

AB/DL (Adult Babies/Diaper Lovers) is an umbrella term for individuals who have an interest in various kinds of ‘Age Play’ or who are attracted to wearing diapers. Rhonda chats to members of the ABDL community to find out what it means for them.

Why I struggle to give unbiased relationship advice

Rhonda reflects on how her experiences have shaped her view of relationships.

Mentioning the unmentionable

What’s with all the stigma around herpes anyway?

What’s with all those dick pics?

From the sender’s perspective: Rhonda asks guys to share what’s with all those dick pics?

Blurred Lines – what is cheating to you?

Within non-monogamy, what does cheating mean anyway? Tessa shares her story.

I cheated on my girlfriend with my male cousin

Rhonda helps a love cheat move forward.

I want to open my relationship—is this a cause for disaster?

Rhonda answers your question: I want to open my relationship — is this a cause for disaster?

My fiancé struggles to find partners in our open relationship

‘I don’t want to cheat but I can’t control myself. What should I do?’

Could my boyfriend be bi-curious?

Rhonda answers the question, ‘Could my boyfriend be bi-curious or is that just him and his friends being goofs?’

I am a virgin, how can I satisfy my experienced man?

Rhonda gets a little ranty answering your question: How do you satisfy your man’s needs if he is ‘experienced’ and you are a virgin?

I am a sadist but my wife won’t let me do what I want to others

Rhonda offers advice to a sadist whose vanilla wife won’t let him practice sadism outside the marriage.

I’m an extremely horny person. Should I cheat or ask for an open relationship?

Rhonda’s advice on what an extremely horny person in a monogamous relationship should do.

I’m a virgin. Should I tell my kinky partner?

Should this virgin tell her S&M partner?

My girlfriend agreed to an open relationship… until I wanted to act on it

Rhonda Perky answers your question: My girlfriend agreed to an open relationship… until I wanted to act on it. What should I do?

Can a submissive help her partner become Dominant?

Rhonda helps a submissive open up the D/s conversation with her potentially Dominant partner.