Perks Magazine
An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life
The Perky Jouney
The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.
In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.
My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.
A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.
I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.
With love, Rhonda xx
Latest posts
How to Have Free Fetish Phone Calls Online
Fetish phone calls are a safe, anonymous way for individuals to explore their fantasies and desires. But how do you have a successful fetish phone call?
Erotic Pop Art
From D-Rex vs Triceracocks to Mr. Bearbottom, Christopher Adam Gray shares his whimsical exploration of sex positive concepts and figurative art with Perks Magazine.
Not my circus, not my monkeys
Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.
I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?
Rhonda answers the question: ‘I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?’
My sex life
Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.
On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory
Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.
Why I chose not to have children
Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.
The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup
Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.
Under the covers…
Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews
Review: Sex with Shakespeare
We review Jillian Keenan’s memoir on Shakespeare, love, and spanking: a story not just for kinksters and fetishists, but for everyone.
Rope Sensei: your one-stop rope shop
Want to explore the pleasures of playing with rope? Rope Sensei has got your back.
The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross
Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.
Mass shootings: disaffected young men or entitled objectification?
A response to Jim Dowd’s ‘The Shootings Are Not Senseless’.
Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough
Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.
‘Bunnies Unbound’ — unravelling preconceptions about rope
Through Bunnies Unbound, Kat Johnston hopes to break through some of the preconceptions people have about rope-based bondage, the people who practice it, and kink more broadly.
Dating dishonesty: why our social scripts are doing us damage
Unless we make room for open and honest communication early on, we can only end up with a host of dissatisfied people, constantly seeking one thing, but finding another.
Tantra: get ready to try this at home
‘Why do to your man what he can do to himself?’ This week I ventured into the erotic world of Tantric massage.
Why is it only legitimate when we take away the sex?
Sex can be functional and legitimate or it can be sexy and pleasurable, but never both…
I am not okay
Who helps the helpers? Rhonda reflects on what it means to not be okay when you are the one who is supposed to keep it together.
Communication in conflict
Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?
My sex life
Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.
Not my circus, not my monkeys
Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.
The friendship destroyer
Rhonda learns a lesson in why some friendships are best left behind.
Misguided protectiveness, slut-shaming or internalised paternalism?
Rhonda Perky examines how everyday paternalism shifts accountability, and asks: ‘What makes us uncomfortable? Whose behaviour is really the problem? Where does the accountability lie?’
Feel the fear
From the blog: Rhonda Perky learns a tough lesson in feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing
Objectifying images may be less comfortable and more confronting to watch, but they can evoke a more direct physical response. But what if there is an emotional cost of continually engaging in this kind of ‘disturbing arousal’?
Whose threesome is it anyway?
In the heat of the moment, whose threesome is it, anyway? Rhonda explores the gap between fantasy and reality.
Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?
Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?
My journey inside a BDSM club
Ever wondered what happens inside a BDSM and fetish club? I donned a black mini dress, fishnets, CFM boots and my voyeur’s cap to find out.
On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory
Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.
Dating: if I had my time over
Rhonda Perky reflects on her insecurity, fear, dating stereotypes, and how she wishes she had done dating differently.
Passionfruit: A sex shop with a difference
Think if you’ve seen one sex shop you’ve seen them all? Look again. Michelle Temminghoff talks about what makes Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop in Melbourne, Australia, more than just an adult store.
Why I struggle to give unbiased relationship advice
Rhonda reflects on how her experiences have shaped her view of relationships.
What’s with all those dick pics?
From the sender’s perspective: Rhonda asks guys to share what’s with all those dick pics?
A Unicorn’s Survival Guide
Rhonda reflects on surviving as a unicorn in the Swinger’s Scene.
Blurred Lines – what is cheating to you?
Within non-monogamy, what does cheating mean anyway? Tessa shares her story.
In the heat of the moment
Negotiating safe sex should be straightforward. But when those involved fear rejection and judgement, when we associate asking for a condom with calling someone ‘dirty’, when we are socialised to defer to others, it gets complicated.
I am a sadist but my wife won’t let me do what I want to others
Rhonda offers advice to a sadist whose vanilla wife won’t let him practice sadism outside the marriage.
My girlfriend agreed to an open relationship… until I wanted to act on it
Rhonda Perky answers your question: My girlfriend agreed to an open relationship… until I wanted to act on it. What should I do?
More than friends: is it worth the risk?
Rhonda helps a Clueless Canadian decide whether it is worth risking friendship to pursue a short-term non-monogamous relationship.
I’m into BDSM but my wife of 40 years is totally vanilla
Rhonda helps a kinky reader grapple with his vanilla relationship.
Is it okay to poke fun at an ex-friend’s social media?
Rhonda Perky answers your question: is it okay to be completely childish and stalk an ex-friend on social media so I can point and laugh and be bitchy?
I am a virgin, how can I satisfy my experienced man?
Rhonda gets a little ranty answering your question: How do you satisfy your man’s needs if he is ‘experienced’ and you are a virgin?
Addicted to social media: in search of a meaningful connection
My life revolves around social media, I seek attention there all the time. I got on twitter to seek friends, a connection, but twitter relationships are temporary.
My boyfriend likes ‘shemales’ – what do I do?
Rhonda offers advice to a woman whose partner is into ‘shemale’ porn
Cuckold fantasies: My lover likes the idea of me with other men
‘My emotional brain says he doesn’t care enough to want me to himself. Are we doomed to remain fuck-buddies?’
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