Perks Magazine

An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life

The Perky Jouney

The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.

In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.

My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.

A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.

I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.

With love, Rhonda xx

Latest posts

Three Wishes

If I had three wishes…

How to Have Free Fetish Phone Calls Online

Fetish phone calls are a safe, anonymous way for individuals to explore their fantasies and desires. But how do you have a successful fetish phone call?

Erotic Pop Art

From D-Rex vs Triceracocks to Mr. Bearbottom, Christopher Adam Gray shares his whimsical exploration of sex positive concepts and figurative art with Perks Magazine.

Not my circus, not my monkeys

Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.

I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?’

My sex life

Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.

On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory

Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.

Why I chose not to have children

Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.

The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup

Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Under the covers…

Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews

My brush with HPV

One reader describes her brush with the Human Papillomavirus (HPV).

In conversation with sex coach Liv Bryant

Ever wondered what it’s like being a sex coach? I chat to sex coach Liv Bryant of Tell Me Darling to find out.

If you don’t know, the answer is “no”

‘What if a girl says yes, then changes her mind?’ Rhonda provides some clarity on why the only yes is a sober and enthusiastic one.

Why is it only legitimate when we take away the sex?

Sex can be functional and legitimate or it can be sexy and pleasurable, but never both…

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Two

Clarissa-Jan Lim shares the story of a self-proclaimed feminist BDSM couple Ian Locklear and Nicole Lavoie and the ways they reconcile their feminist views with their D/s lifestyle…

My journey inside a BDSM club

Ever wondered what happens inside a BDSM and fetish club? I donned a black mini dress, fishnets, CFM boots and my voyeur’s cap to find out.

Why I struggle to give unbiased relationship advice

Rhonda reflects on how her experiences have shaped her view of relationships.

Blurred Lines – what is cheating to you?

Within non-monogamy, what does cheating mean anyway? Tessa shares her story.

‘Bunnies Unbound’ — unravelling preconceptions about rope

Through Bunnies Unbound, Kat Johnston hopes to break through some of the preconceptions people have about rope-based bondage, the people who practice it, and kink more broadly.

When ‘no’ falls on deaf ears — sex offenders and the criminal justice system

Sexual violence and acts of sexual coercion are commonplace, yet many of these crimes go unreported, never make it to court, or get thrown out once they do. We take a closer look at why.

What does a word weigh?

‘Rape’? Rhonda Perky reflects on the weight of words in how we conceptualise our experiences.

Communication in conflict

Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?

Why I chose not to have children

Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.

Perky Commandments

Rhonda’s commandments for love, lust and life.

Whose threesome is it anyway?

In the heat of the moment, whose threesome is it, anyway? Rhonda explores the gap between fantasy and reality.

Feel the fear

From the blog: Rhonda Perky learns a tough lesson in feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Not my circus, not my monkeys

Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.

When a crab crawls out of its basket

Rhonda recalls her journey out of the crab basket and beyond the mould in which she was once cast.

A square peg in a round hole

Rhonda struggles to define what ‘relationship’ might mean while still exploring her sexuality.

A Unicorn’s Survival Guide

Rhonda reflects on surviving as a unicorn in the Swinger’s Scene.

My hate-hate relationship with sex toys

Rhonda reflects on her troubled relationship with sex toys.

The ‘Perfect’ Relationship

Rhonda reflects on what makes the ‘perfect’ relationship.

‘…to the exclusion of all others’

What monogamy really asks of our long-term partners and ourselves.

What I learned from online dating

Online dating taught me less about love and lust and more about confronting my fears. I didn’t always have a good time, but I collected an array of new experiences, and ultimately skills that have helped me learn and grow socially and professionally.

Sex toys: dos and don’ts

Thinking of buying a sex toy? Victoria from Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop talks sex toys, the sex toy industry, and how to find the right fit for you.

The space equation

Negotiating time with — and without — your partner.

Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing

Objectifying images may be less comfortable and more confronting to watch, but they can evoke a more direct physical response. But what if there is an emotional cost of continually engaging in this kind of ‘disturbing arousal’?

BDSM: A Beginner’s Guide

What you need to know to start out in the world of BDSM.

Why straight women watch gay porn

Lori reflects on why some straight women prefer watching gay porn.

Porn rots your brain

…and other sex negative ‘phallacies’. Just how bad is porn, anyway?

More than friends: is it worth the risk?

Rhonda helps a Clueless Canadian decide whether it is worth risking friendship to pursue a short-term non-monogamous relationship.

Unrequited love, or ‘don’t bump uglies with your housemate’

Rhonda counsels a reader on navigating his relationship with a jealous housemate.

I caught my boyfriend cheating

Rhonda helps a woman process the aftermath of a betrayal.

How can I get past my performance anxiety?

Rhonda answers your question on how to overcome performance anxiety during sex.

Condoms kill my erection

Rhonda helps a recently divorced man learn to use condoms without losing his erection.

I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?’

I’m in love with a girl in an abusive relationship

Rhonda helps a White Knight rescue a damsel in an open-but-abusive relationship, and offers some tips on handling jealousy.

My partner has been with someone else, now I want my turn

‘How do I tell him I want to be with someone else?’

I am a virgin, how can I satisfy my experienced man?

Rhonda gets a little ranty answering your question: How do you satisfy your man’s needs if he is ‘experienced’ and you are a virgin?

Addicted to social media: in search of a meaningful connection

My life revolves around social media, I seek attention there all the time. I got on twitter to seek friends, a connection, but twitter relationships are temporary.