Perks Magazine

An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life

The Perky Jouney

The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.

In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.

My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.

A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.

I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.

With love, Rhonda xx

Latest posts

Three Wishes

If I had three wishes…

How to Have Free Fetish Phone Calls Online

Fetish phone calls are a safe, anonymous way for individuals to explore their fantasies and desires. But how do you have a successful fetish phone call?

Erotic Pop Art

From D-Rex vs Triceracocks to Mr. Bearbottom, Christopher Adam Gray shares his whimsical exploration of sex positive concepts and figurative art with Perks Magazine.

Not my circus, not my monkeys

Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.

I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?’

My sex life

Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.

On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory

Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.

Why I chose not to have children

Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.

The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup

Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Under the covers…

Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews

The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross

Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.

Why I struggle to give unbiased relationship advice

Rhonda reflects on how her experiences have shaped her view of relationships.

My brush with HPV

One reader describes her brush with the Human Papillomavirus (HPV).

Sex toys: dos and don’ts

Thinking of buying a sex toy? Victoria from Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop talks sex toys, the sex toy industry, and how to find the right fit for you.

Tennille Melcher: Art + Sensuality = Empowerment

Tennessee-based Boudoir/Intimate photographer and blogger Tennille Melcher shares her passion for empowering others.

Why I’m not buying ‘Instagram star’ Essena O’Neill’s rage quit from social media

Essena O’Neill may be weeping her carefully crafted ‘this is REAL’ and ‘I’m doing it for my 12-year-old-self’ story all over her website, but she is also asking you and me to send her money now that she has to make a living like the rest of us.

My journey inside a BDSM club

Ever wondered what happens inside a BDSM and fetish club? I donned a black mini dress, fishnets, CFM boots and my voyeur’s cap to find out.

Passionfruit: A sex shop with a difference

Think if you’ve seen one sex shop you’ve seen them all? Look again. Michelle Temminghoff talks about what makes Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop in Melbourne, Australia, more than just an adult store.

Why is it only legitimate when we take away the sex?

Sex can be functional and legitimate or it can be sexy and pleasurable, but never both…

69 ways to balance cats on your breasts

Carl Skase offers you the listicle to end all listicles: 69 ways to balance cats on your breasts. Or, a tribute to what the internet does best!

Inertia

Rhonda reflects on her struggles to follow her dreams, trapped by the safety and security of inertia.

I am more than my appearance

I can’t change the way we objectify and value physical appearance; I can only change the way I see myself. I am more than my appearance, more than my achievements, and I don’t have to be seen to have value.

Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing

Objectifying images may be less comfortable and more confronting to watch, but they can evoke a more direct physical response. But what if there is an emotional cost of continually engaging in this kind of ‘disturbing arousal’?

The friendship destroyer

Rhonda learns a lesson in why some friendships are best left behind.

Why I chose not to have children

Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.

The Magic Number

Is there such a thing as the ‘right’ number of partners?

Not my circus, not my monkeys

Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.

My sex life

Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.

Perky Commandments

Rhonda’s commandments for love, lust and life.

Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough

Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.

Perky Commandments

Rhonda’s commandments for love, lust and life.

Mentioning the unmentionable

What’s with all the stigma around herpes anyway?

Sacred sexuality: sex-negativity in spiritual clothing?

When I think of sacred sexuality (or Tantra), it sets off my bullshit meter. I picture caftans and communes, or people publicly displaying a kind of seventies big-bush sexuality that feels particularly unsexy to me. Is this sex-negativity in spirituality’s clothing? Or is something else going on?

Casual sex: doing it without doing dinner

Rhonda offers her advice on negotiating casual sex.

The power in sex

Does sex necessarily involve power? Not just Domination and submission, but non-BDSM sex? Rhonda Perky explores questions of power and privilege inherent in sex.

What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?

Rhonda answers the question: What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?

My hate-hate relationship with sex toys

Rhonda reflects on her troubled relationship with sex toys.

Tantra: get ready to try this at home

‘Why do to your man what he can do to himself?’ This week I ventured into the erotic world of Tantric massage.

Safe Sex is Sexy

Porn performer and escort Madison Missina talks to Perks about the Safe Sex is Sexy social awareness campaign.

One plus one equals three?

Lady Chatterley shares her non-monogamous memoir.

Is it okay to poke fun at an ex-friend’s social media?

Rhonda Perky answers your question: is it okay to be completely childish and stalk an ex-friend on social media so I can point and laugh and be bitchy?

I’m a virgin. Should I tell my kinky partner?

Should this virgin tell her S&M partner?

What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?

Rhonda answers the question: What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?

Can a submissive help her partner become Dominant?

Rhonda helps a submissive open up the D/s conversation with her potentially Dominant partner.

I’m in love with someone in an open relationship, what should I do?

Is it worth pursuing love when your lover is in an open relationship with someone else?

Looking for the latest in sex toy technology

Rhonda helps a reader explore the latest in teledildonics.

I’m into BDSM but my wife of 40 years is totally vanilla

Rhonda helps a kinky reader grapple with his vanilla relationship.

Can a long distance D/s relationship work?

Rhonda answers your question, can a long distance D/s relationship work, and isn’t it all just sexting anyway?

How can I get past my performance anxiety?

Rhonda answers your question on how to overcome performance anxiety during sex.

More than friends: is it worth the risk?

Rhonda helps a Clueless Canadian decide whether it is worth risking friendship to pursue a short-term non-monogamous relationship.