Latest

Don't miss the latest

Recent posts

Not my circus, not my monkeys

Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.

I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?’

My sex life

Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.

On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory

Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.

Why I chose not to have children

Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.

The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup

Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Rope Sensei: your one-stop rope shop

Want to explore the pleasures of playing with rope? Rope Sensei has got your back.

Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough

Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Discover more…

Rhonda Perky’s Bits

Whose threesome is it anyway?

In the heat of the moment, whose threesome is it, anyway? Rhonda explores the gap between fantasy and reality.

Unravelling jealousy

Rhonda reveals her struggle with jealousy and what it means to hold on by letting go.

Communication in conflict

Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?

The Magic Number

Is there such a thing as the ‘right’ number of partners?

Behind the smile

Are you okay? What lies behind the smile.

When a crab crawls out of its basket

Rhonda recalls her journey out of the crab basket and beyond the mould in which she was once cast.

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Married Sex – A fairytale in three parts

Rhonda reflects on the rise and fall of desire in a long term relationship.

Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough

Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.

Perky Commandments

Rhonda’s commandments for love, lust and life.

A personal journey through friendship, love, lust, and everything in between. Rhonda shares her reflections, shifting perspectives and experiences navigating the interpersonal.

Ask Rhonda

My boyfriend has transgender friends – does he want to be with one again?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘My boyfriend has transgender friends on his profile. I was wondering if he wants to be with one again?’

I want to open my relationship—is this a cause for disaster?

Rhonda answers your question: I want to open my relationship — is this a cause for disaster?

How can I get past my performance anxiety?

Rhonda answers your question on how to overcome performance anxiety during sex.

How can you tell whether somebody in an open relationship has feelings for you?

‘He acts like my boyfriend, but already has a girlfriend.’ Rhonda helps a confused reader navigate an open relationship.

How do I introduce a kink to my partner?

Rhonda helps a kinky lover introduce a new kink to their repertoire.

Condoms kill my erection

Rhonda helps a recently divorced man learn to use condoms without losing his erection.

What if my girlfriend fakes her orgasms?

Rhonda helps a lover grapple with the possibility his girlfriend fakes her orgasms.

How can I make a girl cum?

Rhonda answers the question: how can I make a girl cum?

Casual sex: doing it without doing dinner

Rhonda offers her advice on negotiating casual sex.

My boyfriend likes ‘shemales’ – what do I do?

Rhonda offers advice to a woman whose partner is into ‘shemale’ porn

Rhonda Perky answers your questions on sex, sexuality, relationships and little bits of life.

Editorial

Why is it only legitimate when we take away the sex?

Sex can be functional and legitimate or it can be sexy and pleasurable, but never both…

Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?

Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Mass shootings: disaffected young men or entitled objectification?

A response to Jim Dowd’s ‘The Shootings Are Not Senseless’.

Why I struggle to give unbiased relationship advice

Rhonda reflects on how her experiences have shaped her view of relationships.

Sacred sexuality: sex-negativity in spiritual clothing?

When I think of sacred sexuality (or Tantra), it sets off my bullshit meter. I picture caftans and communes, or people publicly displaying a kind of seventies big-bush sexuality that feels particularly unsexy to me. Is this sex-negativity in spirituality’s clothing? Or is something else going on?

Dating dishonesty: why our social scripts are doing us damage

Unless we make room for open and honest communication early on, we can only end up with a host of dissatisfied people, constantly seeking one thing, but finding another.

When ‘no’ falls on deaf ears — sex offenders and the criminal justice system

Sexual violence and acts of sexual coercion are commonplace, yet many of these crimes go unreported, never make it to court, or get thrown out once they do. We take a closer look at why.

If you don’t know, the answer is “no”

‘What if a girl says yes, then changes her mind?’ Rhonda provides some clarity on why the only yes is a sober and enthusiastic one.

The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross

Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.

We share opinions, observations, reflections and insights on current issues facing our society.

All things kink

Review: Sex with Shakespeare

We review Jillian Keenan’s memoir on Shakespeare, love, and spanking: a story not just for kinksters and fetishists, but for everyone.

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part One

Clarissa-Jan Lim explores the history of feminism and its views on BDSM.

My journey inside a BDSM club

Ever wondered what happens inside a BDSM and fetish club? I donned a black mini dress, fishnets, CFM boots and my voyeur’s cap to find out.

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Three

Meet Melissa K.: Feminist and Submissive who has had to resolve the conflict between her rape fantasies and her strongly feminist ideals.

The power in sex

Does sex necessarily involve power? Not just Domination and submission, but non-BDSM sex? Rhonda Perky explores questions of power and privilege inherent in sex.

Rope Sensei: your one-stop rope shop

Want to explore the pleasures of playing with rope? Rope Sensei has got your back.

Why I am a Masochist

‘How I became aware of my masochism.’ Erotic novelist David (Pinke Grapefruit) explores what being a masochist means to him.

‘Bunnies Unbound’ — unravelling preconceptions about rope

Through Bunnies Unbound, Kat Johnston hopes to break through some of the preconceptions people have about rope-based bondage, the people who practice it, and kink more broadly.

Baby Voodoo: When kink meets art meets fashion

Melbourne-based artist and designer Baby Voodoo shares her love of all things naughty and nice with Perks Magazine.

AB/DL: Adult babies and diaper lovers

AB/DL (Adult Babies/Diaper Lovers) is an umbrella term for individuals who have an interest in various kinds of ‘Age Play’ or who are attracted to wearing diapers. Rhonda chats to members of the ABDL community to find out what it means for them.

We explore kink, fetishes, BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadomasochism), paraphilias and more.

Porn positive

Meet Madison Missina — porn star and escort

In Part One, Madison Missina opens up about her life in the sex industry.

Madison Missina — on sexual health and personal safety

In Part Three, porn star and escort Madison Missina talks sexual health and personal safety in the sex industry.

Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing

Objectifying images may be less comfortable and more confronting to watch, but they can evoke a more direct physical response. But what if there is an emotional cost of continually engaging in this kind of ‘disturbing arousal’?

Porn rots your brain

…and other sex negative ‘phallacies’. Just how bad is porn, anyway?

Safe Sex is Sexy

Porn performer and escort Madison Missina talks to Perks about the Safe Sex is Sexy social awareness campaign.

Why straight women watch gay porn

Lori reflects on why some straight women prefer watching gay porn.

Madison Missina — on porn

In Part Two, Madison Missina talks about her experiences behind the scenes on a porn set.

We go behind the scenes of the porn world and question some of the popular misconceptions about the impact of porn.

Relationships

Whose threesome is it anyway?

In the heat of the moment, whose threesome is it, anyway? Rhonda explores the gap between fantasy and reality.

‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’

Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover what it means to be a Modern Slut.

Starting Over: ‘One day my prince will come’

At 39, single mother Pacsac reflects on dating, her ‘Cinderella Syndrome’ and starting over.

The space equation

Negotiating time with — and without — your partner.

Breaking up is hard to do

Mistress Heather shares her heartbreak over having to leave her hometown.

Abuse is a choice

Rhonda Perky shares her reflections on ending up in an abusive relationship and how she eventually walked away, and the questions this raises for our society.

A square peg in a round hole

Rhonda struggles to define what ‘relationship’ might mean while still exploring her sexuality.

Communication in conflict

Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?

The ‘Perfect’ Relationship

Rhonda reflects on what makes the ‘perfect’ relationship.

Dating dishonesty: why our social scripts are doing us damage

Unless we make room for open and honest communication early on, we can only end up with a host of dissatisfied people, constantly seeking one thing, but finding another.

We examine all kinds of relationships: long-term, short-term, monogamous, non-monogamous, exploring communication, boundaries, friendships and more.

Sex

The power in sex

Does sex necessarily involve power? Not just Domination and submission, but non-BDSM sex? Rhonda Perky explores questions of power and privilege inherent in sex.

Sex toys: dos and don’ts

Thinking of buying a sex toy? Victoria from Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop talks sex toys, the sex toy industry, and how to find the right fit for you.

‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’

Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover what it means to be a Modern Slut.

Married Sex – A fairytale in three parts

Rhonda reflects on the rise and fall of desire in a long term relationship.

Couple swapping: negotiating boundaries

Group sex might resemble porn, but if you’re not careful, a fantasy can turn into a nightmare.

What’s with all those dick pics?

From the sender’s perspective: Rhonda asks guys to share what’s with all those dick pics?

My brush with HPV

One reader describes her brush with the Human Papillomavirus (HPV).

Tantra: get ready to try this at home

‘Why do to your man what he can do to himself?’ This week I ventured into the erotic world of Tantric massage.

What does a word weigh?

‘Rape’? Rhonda Perky reflects on the weight of words in how we conceptualise our experiences.

Madison Missina — on sexual health and personal safety

In Part Three, porn star and escort Madison Missina talks sexual health and personal safety in the sex industry.

We bring you reflections on casual sex, sex in long-term relationships, sex in open and closed relationships, swinging, desire and libido, talking sex and addressing sex-negativity.

Sexuality

The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross

Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.

My dirty little secret

Rhonda explores her journey coming out as bisexual.

A Beginner’s Guide to Dating a Transgendered Person

What you need to know about dating a transgendered person.

A square peg in a round hole

Rhonda struggles to define what ‘relationship’ might mean while still exploring her sexuality.

We explore sexual orientation, identity, fluidity, gender, the personal and political in modern sexuality.

Single life

Why cheaters lie to both partners

Has someone in a relationship tried to hit on you for sexy chats, sexting or more? In the process, have they spun you a story about how unhappy they are in their current relationship? Ever wondered why?

What I learned from online dating

Online dating taught me less about love and lust and more about confronting my fears. I didn’t always have a good time, but I collected an array of new experiences, and ultimately skills that have helped me learn and grow socially and professionally.

Whose threesome is it anyway?

In the heat of the moment, whose threesome is it, anyway? Rhonda explores the gap between fantasy and reality.

My hate-hate relationship with sex toys

Rhonda reflects on her troubled relationship with sex toys.

Casual sex: doing it without doing dinner

Rhonda offers her advice on negotiating casual sex.

‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’

Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover what it means to be a Modern Slut.

Dating: if I had my time over

Rhonda Perky reflects on her insecurity, fear, dating stereotypes, and how she wishes she had done dating differently.

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Starting Over: ‘One day my prince will come’

At 39, single mother Pacsac reflects on dating, her ‘Cinderella Syndrome’ and starting over.

The ‘Perfect’ Relationship

Rhonda reflects on what makes the ‘perfect’ relationship.

The trials, tribulations and jubilations of being single. From surviving loneliness and the social pressure to be coupled-up, to finding yourself after a relationship and getting what you need out of dating and play partners.

Reviews

Passionfruit: A sex shop with a difference

Think if you’ve seen one sex shop you’ve seen them all? Look again. Michelle Temminghoff talks about what makes Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop in Melbourne, Australia, more than just an adult store.

‘Bunnies Unbound’ — unravelling preconceptions about rope

Through Bunnies Unbound, Kat Johnston hopes to break through some of the preconceptions people have about rope-based bondage, the people who practice it, and kink more broadly.

Tennille Melcher: Art + Sensuality = Empowerment

Tennessee-based Boudoir/Intimate photographer and blogger Tennille Melcher shares her passion for empowering others.

Review: Sex with Shakespeare

We review Jillian Keenan’s memoir on Shakespeare, love, and spanking: a story not just for kinksters and fetishists, but for everyone.

Rope Sensei: your one-stop rope shop

Want to explore the pleasures of playing with rope? Rope Sensei has got your back.

My journey inside a BDSM club

Ever wondered what happens inside a BDSM and fetish club? I donned a black mini dress, fishnets, CFM boots and my voyeur’s cap to find out.

Tantra: get ready to try this at home

‘Why do to your man what he can do to himself?’ This week I ventured into the erotic world of Tantric massage.

Sex toys: dos and don’ts

Thinking of buying a sex toy? Victoria from Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop talks sex toys, the sex toy industry, and how to find the right fit for you.

In conversation with sex coach Liv Bryant

Ever wondered what it’s like being a sex coach? I chat to sex coach Liv Bryant of Tell Me Darling to find out.

Baby Voodoo: When kink meets art meets fashion

Melbourne-based artist and designer Baby Voodoo shares her love of all things naughty and nice with Perks Magazine.

We review books, films, events, venues, toys and more. Have something you want us to review? Get in contact.

Note: our reviews offer an honest representation of the user experience.

Your stories

Blurred Lines – what is cheating to you?

Within non-monogamy, what does cheating mean anyway? Tessa shares her story.

Why I am a Masochist

‘How I became aware of my masochism.’ Erotic novelist David (Pinke Grapefruit) explores what being a masochist means to him.

My brush with HPV

One reader describes her brush with the Human Papillomavirus (HPV).

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Two

Clarissa-Jan Lim shares the story of a self-proclaimed feminist BDSM couple Ian Locklear and Nicole Lavoie and the ways they reconcile their feminist views with their D/s lifestyle…

Starting Over: ‘One day my prince will come’

At 39, single mother Pacsac reflects on dating, her ‘Cinderella Syndrome’ and starting over.

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Three

Meet Melissa K.: Feminist and Submissive who has had to resolve the conflict between her rape fantasies and her strongly feminist ideals.

Breaking up is hard to do

Mistress Heather shares her heartbreak over having to leave her hometown.

One plus one equals three?

Lady Chatterley shares her non-monogamous memoir.

We share your stories about love, life, relationships and more.

Have a story you’d like to share? Get in contact.

Perky Leigh

5 Reasons Listicles Should Be Abolished

You won’t believe what happens when you read this click-bait article!

69 ways to balance cats on your breasts

Carl Skase offers you the listicle to end all listicles: 69 ways to balance cats on your breasts. Or, a tribute to what the internet does best!

Worst Places to Have Sex

Carl Skase contemplates some of the worst places you can have sex.

Hummers: first sign of marriage breakdown

Researchers have now shown that Hummers are one of the first real signs of marriage breakdown. Couples who use a Hummer as part of their wedding ceremonies will have an 87% chance of divorce within the first 6 months of marriage.

Carl Skase, a.k.a. Perky Leigh, shares his tongue-in-cheek views of sex, life and relationships