Rhonda Perky’s Bits

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Feel the fear

Feel the fear

From the blog: Rhonda Perky learns a tough lesson in feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

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The power in sex

The power in sex

Does sex necessarily involve power? Not just Domination and submission, but non-BDSM sex? Rhonda Perky explores questions of power and privilege inherent in sex.

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Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing

Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing

When it comes to how the brain is wired, objectifying images may be less comfortable and more confronting to watch, but they evoke a more direct physical response. At least, they do in me… But what if there is an emotional cost of continually engaging in this kind of ‘disturbing arousal’?

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The ‘Perfect’ Relationship

The ‘Perfect’ Relationship

I have to keep telling myself that while this relationship seems perfect, it’s an illusion.’ Like most people, when I first meet someone, I try to present my best. I hide my fears and insecurities, my frustrations, my limitations. I present the fun-loving sexy side of me: the person I want to be.

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I am more than my appearance

I am more than my appearance

I can’t change the way we objectify and value physical appearance; I can only change the way I see myself. I am more than my appearance, more than my achievements, and I don’t have to be seen to have value.

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Photo credit: hehaden, flickr

Communication in conflict

Studies have shown that having a functional communication style is crucial to the success and longevity of a relationship. Nothing puts our communication style to the test quite like handling conflict with those closest to us. For instance, when there is tension between my partner and me, I struggle to […]

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Tantra: get ready to try this at home

Tantra: get ready to try this at home

‘Why do to your man what he can do to himself?’ This week I ventured into the erotic world of Tantric massage

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Perky Commandments

Perky Commandments

Commandments for love, lust and life Thou shalt not stalk Thou shalt live thine own life Thou shalt let thy partner live his/her own life Thou shalt keep thine crazy to thyself Thou shalt be responsible for thine own happiness Thou shalt not dump all thy mental baggage onto thy Significant […]

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The Magic Number

The Magic Number

‘Is a girl who’s slept with 100 guys a bad person?’ This is an actual question from the dating site, OkCupid. Not, ‘Would you feel differently about a person, and in what way?’, but ‘Is she a good or bad person’? At the beginning of my year of living tartily, I could count my lovers on a […]

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Unravelling jealousy

Unravelling jealousy

Holding on by letting go ‘Relationships of all kinds are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto […]

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